


Dreams

by SophieRipley



Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Delusions, Hallucinations, Interrogation, One Shot, Psychology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2016-08-27
Packaged: 2018-08-11 06:47:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7880635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SophieRipley/pseuds/SophieRipley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Judy Hopps is in lockup, being interrogated about Nick Wilde.  She's forced to relive--and accept--a startling and life-changing realization.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dreams

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Deutsch available: [Träume](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14766783) by [Mr_Manchas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mr_Manchas/pseuds/Mr_Manchas)



> PLEASE READ:
> 
> The following story does not have a happy ending. This is NOT fluff in any way, and I'd like you to understand that going in. Thank you for your views, and please feel free to comment below with your thoughts if you choose to read on.

The restraints, alloyed steel, felt cold.  It was almost a pleasing contrast, in a way, to the hot stale air of the room, unmoving and stifling.  Everything in the room was hard and functional right down to the metal table to which the restraints were attached;  everything save the chair, which was somewhat padded on the seat.

A smaller mid-sized predator entered the room and sat in the identical chair opposite, his back to the two-way mirror.  He was a red fox, his eyes a blue-green almost resembling teal, and he wore a three-piece suit of brown and beige. The fox adjusted his round glasses as he sat down, and he placed a thick folder on the table before him.  He made a show of opening the folder, scanning a page here and a note there for a long minute before looking across the table.

“Judith Laverne Hopps, ZPD.”  He was met with silence, and the fox smiled a little.  “On the force for two weeks, discovered fourteen missing mammals only days after beginning your short career.  Just this spring.  Extended leave of absence following that, spent all summer back home in Bunnyburrow.  Then returned and solved the Night Howler Crisis.  A mighty start to what could have been a hell of a career.”  There was silence again, and the fox folded his paws in front of himself and smiled at the tiny grey figure across from him.  They were quiet for a very long time, or perhaps only a couple minutes.  It was hard to tell exactly.

Finally, the fox broke the silence.  “Tell me about Nicholas Wilde, please.”

Judy found her tongue. 

“So that’s why they sent a red fox, huh?”  She laughed.  It had an edge that one might call hysterical.  “They thought a fox might make me talk about him.  That’s really clever, actually.”

The fox’s smile only widened.  “Tell me about Nick.”

There was a pregnant pause as Judy glared at the fox across from her.  Then she shrugged.

“Okay.  Fine.  I’ll tell you about Nick.”

So she did.  She explained in detail how she had found a shifty lowlife fox casing an ice cream parlor.  How she went into the parlor looking for a fight, intending fully to arrest the fox for something, because of course he was up to something.  Judy explained how this fox was after all only trying to buy a popsicle for his son, and how she helped him overcome the parlor owner’s discrimination through diplomacy…that was to say, threats of legal action.

She went on to describe how she caught that same fox later melting down said popsicle and selling his own from the refrozen juice.  How she confronted him, how the fox—Nick Wilde, as he’d introduced himself—delivered a very effective speech about how the world wasn’t the way it looked and she’d ultimately fail in her dream.  Her rebuttal to him had been heartfelt, but by the time she reached her meager apartment she’d felt his words in her mind like millstones, grinding away at her dreams and optimism.

She explained how she discovered a link to him in a case she’d taken without authorization, a case she’d staked her entire career on.  Judy told the grinning interrogator how she’d seen the otter she was looking for in a traffic photo eating one of Nick’s hustled ice creams, and how she’d gone out and blackmailed him into giving her information.

Judy explained in great detail how the search led to one Mister Manchas through a shrew called Big.  She explained the attack by Manchas, how she saved Nick’s life and he saved hers.  The tram ride, him opening up to her—though she refused to give away Nick’s story—and his epiphany about the traffic cameras.  Finally, Judy explained how they had infiltrated the old asylum, found the missing mammals, and brought Lionheart to justice, and how she had so completely screwed up the following press conference.  How angry she’d made Nick, who had opened up to her.

Here she lapsed into silence, looking at the table.

“And…so, you went home? Because you upset Mister Wilde?”  The fox looked a bit confused, in an amused sort of way.  Judy shook her head.

“No, of course not.”  Her eyes remained fixed on the table.  “I left because in the week following, I discovered that there were riots and protests and species tension because of what I said.  People were getting hurt, losing jobs, because of me.  I didn’t take a leave of absence…I quit.  Bogo simply filed the paperwork for a medical leave instead.”

“How often did you see Nick during that time?” 

“I didn’t.”  Her answer was clipped, her voice hard.  “He didn’t want to see me.  I insulted him, I offended him, and he was angry with me.”

“You didn’t see him at all?  Until you returned?”  The fox was left staring at Judy as she refused to say anything.  He probed, asking a few more times in a few other ways, but it appeared the interview was over. 

“Perhaps,” said the fox, standing and gathering his dossier on her, “we can finish this story tomorrow, when you’re feeling more cooperative.”

The fox walked out without another word and went into the adjacent observation room where waited a stout badger, his arms folded across his chest.  The fox spoke while Judy was collected and escorted back to her new home.

“Fantastic story.”  He peered down at the badger, who gazed up at him silently.  “It even matches Bogo’s, for the most part.  A few details were wonky.  Is she really as good as you say?”

“Better,” said the badger.  “She could have revolutionized law enforcement.  Why did you give up so easily?”  The fox scoffed.

“Give up?  Give me a break.  I’m the only mammal she’s so much as uttered a word to in a week, since she was brought into custody.  And boy did she speak.  I think we made a serious breakthrough here.  She’ll talk more tomorrow.”  There was little to say after that, and the two parted ways, the fox to his home and the badger to…wherever badgers went at night.

The next day, Judy was brought back to that same room and locked to that same table to wait the fox’s entry.  Like the day previous, she waited alone for the better part of an hour before he came in and sat down, dossier and steaming coffee in hand.

“Good morning, Judy.”  Judy stared.  He offered his coffee to her.  “Have some coffee?  It’s from this local shop I found, I can’t stop going there.  Amazing stuff.”

Judy shook her head.  “Rabbits can’t drink coffee.  The caffeine is poison.  Like cocaine; it could make my heart explode.”

He hummed and smiled.  “Learn something new every day.”  He drank from the coffee and then sat it between them; when Judy leaned over to inhale the rich scent deeply, he grinned.  When her ears flushed in a blush he grinned wider.

“…I said I can’t drink it.  Not that it doesn’t smell amazing.”  Judy looked away from him.

“That you didn’t, Judy.”  His paws clasped before him.  “Are you ready to continue your story?”  That got her attention back to him quick as a shot and her glare was a sharp contrast to his easy smile.

“Why?  So that a good mammal can be locked up forever?” 

“Cooperation is easier than fighting, and has a better consequence, Judy.”  The fox’s voice was quiet, almost soothing.  “Why did you come back to Zootopia?”

“Because I figured it out,” snapped Judy.  She flinched as soon as the words left her mouth:  she hadn’t intended to speak today at all, but now that she’d started the story again it was like floodgates had shattered open.  “My parents were doing business with a fox I grew up with, Gideon Grey.  Gideon called the flowers my parents used in their crops Night Howlers.  I’d…I’d never known their common name, it was never important to me.  My mother told us a story of when she was bitten by a bunny who ate one, and it all came clear to me.”

She’d rushed from the roadside produce stand to get back to Zootopia quick as possible.  She had to find Nick, because she’d _solved it_ and she needed his help and maybe, just maybe, he’d forgive her.

But then when she needed him most, he’d walked away.

It crushed Judy.  It was like she’d collapsed entirely from within, and all the emotion she’d held back for three months of missing Nick and blaming herself came crashing out.  And then a miracle:  he forgave her.  The moment she’d admitted she’d been small-minded and ignorant, the moment she made it clear she’d change, he let it go.  Like a switch was flipped, Nick went from angry and betrayed to comfortingly snarky. 

He’d led her to Mister Big, he’d led her to Manchas, he’d led her to the asylum, and now he had led her into growing as a person, just a little, just by one step.

And from there, he led her to Doug the ram and the night howlers and finally to Bellewether.  With his help, she’d stopped the ewe’s reign of terror.  She’d badly injured her leg in the process, still had a nasty scar, but they were alive and no more predators were being poisoned.  No more bystanders being mauled. 

Nick decided to attend the police academy.  He met the requirements by himself, got accepted on his own merits, and during his nine months of training they conversed through Muzzletime, text messages, and email.  They became close, and Judy continued to outgrow her small-town ignorance.  As she outgrew her ignorance, she became a better police officer.  She peaked, it seemed, when Nick finally graduated the academy, and was accepted at Precinct One. 

They had one glorious day together as partners.

Just one.

The second day, the day after Nick started police work, the day after they caught Flash the sloth street racing, Judy woke bright and early and jogged to work like she had every day since the doctors allowed her to do so.  The activity was had originally been good for the knitting muscles in her leg, and once those healed and strengthened it was simply good for her.  She expected to meet Nick at the station, but he hadn’t arrived yet.  That was alright, she was early.  So she waited around until just moments before roll call…and he wasn’t there.  Hadn’t shown up, was late.

She went to roll call, got her assignment, and noticed a distinct lack of reaction to Nick’s lack of presence.  Bogo didn’t give their chair a second glance, didn’t comment on it, nobody seemed to notice at all.  The moment they were dismissed, Judy went out to the lobby to find the receptionist.

“Clawhauser,” she called up to him, and he smiled down at her and greeted her like nothing was wrong.  “Hey, have you seen Nick?  Did he call in or something?”  Clawhauser’s grin faded, replaced by confusion.

“Nick?” he asked.  “Nick, who?”

“ _Nick_ Nick,” exclaimed Judy, “who else?  My partner.  Nick Wilde?  He’s not here yet.”  Clawhauser gave her a blank look, one that was ever so slightly alarmed.

“Um,” said the cheetah, “Judy…I don’t know a Nick Wilde.  And you don’t have a partner.  You never have.”

Judy could have told him that _of course_ she had a partner, he just started yesterday, Clawhauser had met him several times since the graduation and even during the aftermath of the Night Howler Incident.  She could have told him that, but she didn’t.  The genuine confusion was clear on the cheetah’s face.  So she turned without another word and sprinted to Bogo’s office, knocking and entering at the same time.

“Officer Hopps.”  Bogo, who had clearly just sat down moments ago, put his glasses on and peered at her.  “You have work to do.  What is it?”

“Where’s Nick?”  Her question was quick, direct, and pointed.  And it got the same blank look she’d gotten from Clawhauser.  “Nick _Wilde_ , Chief.  Nicholas Piberius Wilde.  Where is he?”

Bogo tapped some information into his computer, earning a confused stare from Judy until he frowned at the screen and shrugged, looking back at Judy.

“No record of a Nicholas Wilde in the system.  Is he new in Zootopia?”

“New?”  Judy raised her voice, a touch of hysteria in it.  “Of course not, Chief, he helped me bring Bellewether to justice.  Remember?  You accepted him on your police force as of yesterday.”

Bogo got very serious and peered down at Judy for a long moment.

“Hopps…you solved the Night Howler case by yourself.  Nobody helped you with it.”

“What are you talking about?!”  Judy really did yell this time, throwing her hands in the air.  “I couldn’t have solved it myself, Nick pretending to go savage at the museum was the entire reason we got Bellewether’s confession!”  Bogo frowned, then turned to his computer and clicked away for a moment. 

“You mean this confession?”  A recording of a recording played tinnily from the computer’s speakers.  It was Bellewether’s confession alright, but not a gloating one with Nick’s snarling in the background.  No…Judy _talked it out of her._   Conned the confession out of the ewe like she’d conned Nick’s help, pretending to be on her side so that she would tell all.

There was no Nick at all on the recording, and she did not remember it happening the way she heard it.

There was a dawning horror in her mind and she staggered back as if struck by a physical blow.

“No.”  It wasn’t an argument.  Simply a denial, a refusal to accept the truth.  “That’s not possible.”  She turned and ran from the office, down the stairs, through the lobby, and out into the streets.  She kept running, looking frantically down every alley, searching, looking for that so very distinctive van.  When she found it, the mural on the side, she pounded on the back door until the diminutive fox slung it open with his bat in hand.

“Who the fuck!”  The fox stopped, confused, and peered at Judy with his head cocked.  “…Officer Fuzz?  The fuck you want?”

“Where’s Nick?”  Judy asked, breathlessly, still trying to catch her wind from the long sprint.

“Nick who?  Don’t know him.  Why, he in trouble?  Is there a reward?”

Judy didn’t even attempt to respond.  She simply backed away, shaking her head, and then tore off again in a new direction. 

It took two trains and another sprint to reach the bridge near the edge of town, but as soon as she got there, she knew it was hopeless.  Judy bounded down the hill and into the shade of the overpass and saw that it was empty.  The table, the lawn chair and bucket, gone.  No fox, glaring angrily or laughing in joy or making snide stupid remarks to make her roll her eyes and groan.

She had pictures, though, on her phone.  She’d left the phone in her apartment today in her rush to leave, so she made her way with all possible haste to her apartment, scrambling across the room to grab her phone and open the picture gallery to find…nothing.

Pictures of coworkers on the force.  Selfies with her parents.  A few scenery shots of her favorite places around the city.  No goofy fox with the bright green eyes and the terrible floral-print shirts.  She collapsed on her bed, tears blurring her vision, hunched over her phone.

That’s when she noticed the scrap of rust-orange in the corner of her eye.  She turned to look and there it was, nestled in a place of honor on top of her pillow, surrounded by stuffed bunnies by the dozens:  a solitary plush red fox.  It had a green palm leaf print shirt, tan trousers, a wide plushy grin, and bright green eyes.

She reached a shaky paw out to caress the stuffed fox’s face.  She’d forgotten.  Her mother had presented it to her the morning she was supposed to leave for the city after graduating the academy.

 _“Don’t tell your father,”_ she’d said to Judy with a smile.  _“I know you love your plushies, and I thought you might like to add one.  Maybe you’ll be a little safer with a big bad fox guarding you at night.”_   Judy had accepted it with laughter and immediately dubbed him Nick, after her favorite cousin.

Judy lifted the plush off her pillow, paws shaking, and held it tightly to her chest.  It felt like lacerations were mutilating her breast, the realization a very real blow.

“He was never real.”  The words, spoken quietly in a hollow voice, fell heavily into the interrogation room.  The fox in the brown suit sat across from her, his smile long since faded.  “He came to me when I needed him, and then…he was gone.”  Her tears flowed heavily but silently as she gazed deep into the table.

“We’ve made a breakthrough, Judy,” said the fox.  “My name is Doctor James Todd.  I can help you to get better, if you continue to cooperate with me.  Can you do that?”

Judy nodded without looking up.

“That’s a good doe.  I’m going to be prescribing you an antipsychotic, it’ll make the…visions…go away.  Chief Bogo has authorized me to offer your job back, too.”  Her head snapped up.  She assumed, when they found her in her apartment, that she’d be locked up for the rest of her life.  “On one condition:  you see me once a week.  I’ll be submitting reports to him each month.  Once we’re certain you’re stable again, you’ll be allowed back.  Can we do that, Judy?”

She nodded.  “Yeah.  I won’t be any more trouble.”  Todd reached over the table, offering his paw.  They shook, and he stood.

“Very good.  I’ll see you in one week, Judy.”  He winked at her and turned to leave.  As he winked, Judy swore his teal-colored eyes flickered bright emerald green for just the briefest of moments.

That night, Judy had a dream.

_She was walking down a dirt hill leading to the underside of a brick bridge.  She was expected, and her friend waited below, seated on an old lawn chair and wearing a hideous palm leaf print green shirt and aviator sunglasses.  She came up behind him and draped her arms around him, pressing her grey-furred cheek to his red-furred one._

_“Heya Carrots.  Lemonade?”  He offered her the glass in his hand.  She laughed and refused._

_“I half expected you not to be here, Slick Nick,” said the bunny brightly, walking around him and sitting on a lawn chair next to his.  They faced each other and Nick’s grin straightened a little._

_“I’m not, Officer Fluff.”_

_“What do you mean?  Of course you’re here.”  Judy pushed at him and he swished her with his tail._

_“This is a dream, Carrots.”_

_Her smile faded.  “…why?”_

_“Why are you dreaming of me, or why did I come to you in the first place?”_

_“…yes?”  Judy’s voice quivered a little, and Nick smiled kindly._

_“I came to you because you needed me, Carrots.  I was only there to help you get through a trial.  And I'm here now to say goodbye."_

_“You’re not real.  You never were.  You were only in my head.”  She sniffed, a few tears starting to wet her face._

_“Of course I’m in your head, Fluff.  But why should that mean I’m not real?”  He reached out and wiped away her tears.  “I’ll always be here for you.  Guarding over you when you sleep.  You know the old rhyme.  ‘Even evil check their locks, lest they meet the big bad fox.’”_

_“I’ll never see you again, will I?” She leaned into his paw and closed her eyes, fearing the answer._

_“Fraid not, darlin’.  Not like this.  You don’t need me anymore.”_

_Judy pounced forward, and embraced her very best friend, for the last time._

It was three-thirty in the morning in the psych ward of the Zootopia General Hospital, and a nurse was doing her nightly rounds.  She paused in one room and smiled as the sleeping grey bunny curled, hugging a plush fox tightly in her sleep.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by the tumblr post linked below. The image at the bottom of the story is wonderful art drawn for this story by tumblr user Softlight289.
> 
> http://sophies-sideshow.tumblr.com/post/149481195440/craptaztic-judithwilde-craptaztic


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